25

I turn 25 this Friday. HAHA holy shit. I remember when my friend Kendall and I were 13 and we were talking about our “scary age,” which basically meant the age we thought we were officially old by and needed to have our shit together by (married, kids, stable career, etc). My scary age was 27. HAHA oh 13 year olds are so adorable and naïve. I am getting dangerously close to my “scary age” and am not so sure how many boxes I’m going to have checked off by then. Butttt I have learned a lot in my 25 years that I so wish someone had told me when I was 15 or 18 or 24. If you have a little sister, send this post to them. Or if you’re an adult in training like myself, feel free to reference this from time to time…

• Do not eat a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos for dinner. You will feel sick tomorrow morning. Please make a salad. And don’t just eat the yummy bits on top of the salad and ignore the actual lettuce. Eat the whole salad.

• 95% of what we spend our precious time worrying about is complete crap. Ask yourself, “Will I even remember this happened in 6 months?”

• Clean up a little bit every day. I used to never pick up anything during the week and was then surprised when it took me 3 hours to clean my apartment on a beautiful, sunny Saturday. The best time to tidy up is when your mother calls you and wants to tell you all about her very exciting trip to the grocery store for 45 minutes. Oh you ran into my first grade teacher in the bread aisle? That’s sooooo interesting!

• Accept when a life stage (a relationship, a friendship, a job, etc) is over and bow out with grace. When a big relationship ends, that doesn’t mean you failed. What did you learn from this relationship? Was there love there? You were right for each other once but you aren’t anymore. And it’s okay. You’re going to be okay.

• Stop yelling at your parents so much. Note: This is something I’m still working on. Your parents may drive you batshit crazy but they (hopefully) love you more than anything and just want you to have a good life.

• When I moved into my first apartment and lived on my own like a big girl, I was so confused why toilet paper and milk weren’t just around all the time. I just didn’t understand- My parents’ house was like a toilet paper factory! There was always toilet paper! Learning how to grocery shop like an adult was big for me. I remember when my boyfriend Michael opened my fridge for the first time. He was so horrified. I don’t think there was anything in the fridge besides a jar of questionable mayo and multiple bottles of White Girl Rosé. My freezer was FULL of frozen food, which equally horrified my boyfriend. Apparently he doesn’t believe Bagel Bites are an acceptable dinner (so tasty though!). I also had like 8 loaves of frozen bread, which he thought was the weirdest thing ever. He made me throw away anything that I couldn’t remember when I bought it and marched my sorry ass to the grocery store. True love.

• Invest in a great therapist. You will always be with yourself and you need to learn to love yourself—just in case you forgot how to somewhere along the way. I so wish I had found my therapist earlier in my 20s. She’s incredible and has helped me tremendously. I like to think of her as a professional fairy godmother I pay to hang out with me once a week.

• Be with someone who loves you. Who really knows all of your shit. Who makes spaghetti bolognese for you and plays fetch with your dog. Who blends in and fits in at your family dinner table but still asserts himself and is his own person. Who is really sweet and kind and adorable. You know all that time you wasted obsessing over the size of your nose (too big) and your boobs (too small)? The right person for you won’t care. They will think you’re hot AF.

• Take care of yourself. Put coconut oil on your hair. Take vitamins. Wear sunscreen everyday. Sign up for a yoga class. Going for a run may seem as fun as your yearly gynecological examination at first but do it anyways. You’ll learn to actually like it. I know this sounds like a million years away but be healthy so you can meet your children’s children.

• We all move at a crazy warp speed. Take time once a week or whatever time frame works best for you and spend quiet time reflecting on the past week. What lifted you up? What can you do better next week?

• Treat others how you want to be treated. This is such a big one we all learn when we’re five but it’s so important to remember. Did your friend have a shitty day? Send them flowers or write them a nice note. Let them know they’re loved and appreciated. And please always be nice to waiters and customer service agents. I used to work in customer service and it’s my biggest pet peeve when people are rude to those who serve and help them. If you know an asshole who violates this rule all the time, feel pity for them if you can. They probably aren’t happy people. And don’t try to argue, reason or even engage with them. Crazy people will never give you what you want. Just say to yourself, “I’m too fabulous for your negativity.”

• Travel anywhere and everywhere. In 10 years when you have kids, you aren’t going anywhere besides a Disney cruise for a loooong time so live it up now and rack up those passport stamps.

• Learn to forgive. It doesn’t let the shitty people who hurt you off the hook. It’s for you.

• Sign up for theSkimm. Or watch the news in the morning while you get dressed and ready for the day. Be informed so you don’t accidentally say dumb shit when all of your fancy coworkers are talking about what Trump did last night.

• Watch every movie Ryan Gosling has ever been in. Because Ryan Gosling is flawless. Also all of Tom Cruise’s movies when he was younger- and before all that weird Scientology stuff. Swoooon.

• Spend less money on drybar, Sugarfish and gel manicures and build up a savings account. I know. It really sucks.

• Cultivate a career around things that interest you—even if you don’t know what that ultimately looks like—and it’ll bring you to the right people, experiences, etc. I’m working on Brooke du jour now because it combines so many things I love like fashion, styling, photography and writing. I don’t know exactly what Brooke du jour will look like a year from now but it makes me excited to wake up. If you’re in a job where you don’t want to get out of your car in your office parking lot every morning, you’re in the wrong job.

• Surround yourself with great people and you will be great. I touched on this in my last post but I really believe how important it is to have friends who support your pursuit of magic and are on a similar journey themselves.

Do you have any pieces of wisdom or advice you wish someone had told you? Let’s talk about them in the comments!

Outfit: Free People dress

Accessories: Saint Laurent purse, Steve Madden heels

Jewelry: Vintage hoops (similar), Anne Sisteron love ring (also similar here)

Makeup: Chanel lip gloss in 119 Wild Rose

Betsy Newman Photography