Hi there! I hope y’all are having a fabulous Memorial Day weekend and the rosé is flowin’.
I’ve been playing with this post for a while. Getting personal on Brooke du jour has always been somewhat difficult territory for me. It is very easy for me to come up with cute quips about my extensive striped shirt collection, but I want to delve a little deeper in this post. Back in January, I decided to fearlessly pursue what sets my heart on fire and move back to LA to be with my family and focus on Brooke du jour. In this post, I promised to always do my best with this blog and produce content from a place of integrity and love. In order to stay true to that statement, I feel like it’s time for an honest life update.
75% of the time I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Kind of like I’m on a long, windy road trip but f*ck I don’t have service on my phone so Google Maps isn’t working and I’m dangerously close to veering off a cliff.
But that’s being 25, right?
I am learning. I am growing. I am grateful. I tend to remind myself of that several times a day. Developing my own business has been crazy and challenging, but I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing right now and I trust this path.
I feel like I’m falling in love with LA all over again and seeing it through totally different eyes than I did as a teenager. I have been on a mission to try as many fun new restaurants as my stomach will allow, and I’ve been lucky to do that with new friends. I miss my Dallas friends. I really miss them and what we cultivated over 6 + years of friendship. I miss impromptu margarita nights that are now planned phone calls to catch up on each other’s lives. As an introverted person, it hasn’t exactly been my favorite thing to randomly DM girls on Instagram and ask them out on friend dates lol! But it has been working, and I’m excited about taking on LA with a new group of girlfriends *insert dancing twin emoji
I think it was extra hard for me to totally throw myself into a new life in LA, because a huge piece of my heart was still in Dallas. I felt like I had one foot pressing the gas and the other pressing the brake not sure what direction to dive into. Recently, my Dallas boyfriend and I decided to end our relationship. I don’t want to say too much about this, because while I am trying to be an open book on Brooke du jour, I’m sure my ex would prefer if we didn’t discuss his personal life on the Internet. I will say that I am very sad about this change. The first few weeks were kind of a blur of Doritos, Real Housewives marathons, wine, anger, disappointment, etc. But I ran out of Doritos and had to make a choice- What’s next? How will I channel this energy and create something positive?
I choose joy.
I choose to obsess over what is in front of me.
I choose to evolve under the California sun.
Based on past relationships ending, I know this process comes in waves. It’s all fun and games, you think you’re totally fine and then out of nowhere the good, the bad and the ugly smacks you in the face. The good- coming across a cute photo booth picture that reminds you of a sweet memory. The bad- finding his old T-shirt you used to sleep in and wondering if you’re destined to sleep alone for the rest of your life. The ugly– running into him and his new girlfriend at what used to be your favorite restaurant and you really wish a giant sinkhole would appear and just swallow you up so you wouldn’t have to talk to him and his cute new girlfriend who you are supposed to hate but you want to ask her where she got her adorable pink shorts…
Anyways, my point with this post was to let y’all know where I’m at beyond the pretty Instagram filters and all that carefully curated BS. Please know you can always do the same with me. What’s on your mind? What kind of realness do you want to see on Brooke du jour?
I keep coming back to this quote, “The one thing you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can. The moment that you feel that just possibly you are walking down the street naked… that’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.” – Neil Gaiman
Thanks for reading, badass babes.